Monsoon and my man

He was there, of course he still is
Somewhere here, but not physically

The monsoon and the rains, all reminds me of him
It all happened a long ago , and many years have passed.

In mid 1999, it started and by mid 2001 it ended

Yes, two years, it was not a very short span of time
And the break up was a major setback in life

Let the break up take a backseat for a while
Let me talk of the relationship meanwhile

The monsoon was approaching; he came as a new neighbour
His first sight itself was enough to made me go flat
His innocence acted as an additional impact
His intense eyes acted as the catalyst in the reaction, which actually started as a friendly relation

The journey had just begun and I was on cloud nine
It all started with a bit of skepticism and caution
But I was sure of love happening somewhere

And yes, it did happen
And I had an impression it was on both sides
Ah! How wrong I was as I soon had to see it in ashes

Let’s take the story forward and make it clearer
My story actually is an experience which can’t be called a timid affair

Though he was there in my neighbourhood for quite sometime,
But it actually started accidentally,
And moved on slowly

His sister became my friend and
We took each other’s numbers
I called up to talk to her and then
It was he instead of her
Giving a sign that god had more for us in his store.

The story thus started and the episodes kept on adding
I kept on dreaming and enjoying

One day, my brother got a clue
With my diary in his one hand and my mother’s hints in another
It seemed to be true
My father then asked me what the matter was
I denied and said I was an honest daughter

God I got real guts, yes love really makes you dare
I still remember what lies I spoke for my dear to my father and mother

Everything was fine but all is well when it ends well
Gradually I realised he wanted something else
Initially I was hesitant but then I agreed though partially

Months were passing and like a fool I was day dreaming
Thinking of my days ahead in his arms
Its only when he stopped talking after a fight
That I realized oh! It was over

Forget fight as I tried hard to make for it
But the reason was something else
His relationships with many at one go, made him do so

I wasn’t convinced and thought everything would be fine
But instead I was adversely affected and my studies hampered

And what about him, what to talk of him
He is a guy with ample of guts
Which I got to know only afterwards
Much later, when I called up to make him clarify everything,
There was no sign of regret,
Only guts, clear from his own words
“Dear you are wrong, I never spoke truth
I was never half honest,
I only lied, I am like that, a complete dishonest”




Case Study


Endless and unending, this is how it seems life has become these days
The journey honestly hasn’t taken this turn all of a sudden

Somehow I had to reach here; I was destined to be here
The reason being in numerous decisions taken by me randomly

Cut to Phase one; scene one
My primary schooldays; I never gave a thought to my studies
Phase one; scene two
My high schooldays
My results started getting worse, all signs of being the youngest kid
Phase one; Scene three
Oh! God I am in tenth, I realized I have to appear for boards,
Pre boards came and thereafter arrived results
Then followed the preparation leave, creeping in
Thank God I had managed to be awake for a while
Somehow studied and here was the result
Percentage in seventies, giving an ache in my teachers bellies as
as familiar they were very well with my previous percentage in 50s and 60s

Wait!!! His arrival needs clear mention
It was in class ninth itself, when di was to get married
I was already feeling very low though she was more like a senior, never a dear friend
And Ma never tried to be one,
Bhaiya needs no particular mention due to his stay at hostel mansion.

Meanwhile God had dropped him in, though I was never so keen
Yet stars clicked and links were built
Our place for sure never allowed us to be on our own but we managed on.


When tenth boards were over, I left for di’s place, and was back only after two and half months
Heard my earlier mentioned good results, returned only at the time of +2 admissions
Meanwhile there was a twist, as my family had a doubt regarding mine and his ongoing feast

It all, made me think, ponder, and took me apart from him for a while
But then, it all was only for a while, though seemed like an exile.

Then came the next phase, my father came to know that I am never serious about my studies nor ever was, although he had no doubt at my potentials

Lust and love had already made me go blind and confused was the condition of my mind

In haste, I took science (PCM) in order to be with him at least at tuitions
It all worked for sometime, as then we got into a fight

Communications stopped then and their
But I wasn’t mentally prepared
So I gave all my attention at 12th to this affair

Meanwhile unwanted guys at class too were showing their interest in me, which definitely wasn’t an important matter to care

My guy was my only concern, diverted mind and separation had got me into a latent depression

Unwanted incidents from fifteen to seventeen
These simply didn’t let me do concerned priority
Thus got trapped up my studies in its layer
Oh! I just couldn’t believe, I had flunked in +2 boards

One full year, full of loss and tear
My life’s worst days, a major break up followed by
a shameful academic year

Only one thing had kept the spirits of my mind and body high
That is my father’s consistent unending support and care

But somehow struggles were not coming to an end
Agreeing to my father’s advice, I had changed my stream from science to arts
Still came not a good result
But determined I was not to get disappointed
I tried, others helped stars clicked and here I was at Patna Women’s college

Hectic were the days at college and strict were the rules at premise
But enjoyable was the life at hostel, two years at private and third year at campus
Completed everything successfully there, paving my days for future clearly
Thus, here I am doing my PG at YMCA, New Delhi
Still waits ahead an unknown future